It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me.

...and I'm feeling good....

As for this very moment I am...I kinda feel tempted to just close my eyes...out of sight, out of minda, and just enjoy this moment cause after so many days, NOW I'm feeling good! :D

and, yes, changing things a bit; I had my bag ready for the gym and I thought: :" Hey miss! not too fast! what did your PT say?" and I decided I'll do only cardio today, meaning, of course, BODYCOMBAT, I'm hoping for a Mix in Steglitz and it would be great if Nessun Dorma was in it!!!!

In other order of things: Yesterday at the vegan Summer fest, the team of Vegan Strength Germany was talking about the team, tem member etc...and they say ATM they don't have bodybuilders in the team and they would be happy to have some....so that got me really interested...then again I'm a newbie and still not 100% vegan but...it's a push to try this vegan thing and I'd be glad to be part of it. Then again I don't want to stay in Germany...but for the time I'm still here maybe...just thinking about it ;)

I've weighted myself today and i'm at the beginning again: I would have started my cut 4 weeks ago but...life came in the way...Sometimes life interferes with our plans...so I'm at the very same point as the moment I started.... same weight..... my lifts are minimally better though... So up for a new start! Starting today just like my PT told me, no radical diets, no extreme cardio...after all I'm not competing any time soon!!!!

Feedback and some rantings....

It's been a while since I don't post but that doesn't mean I stopped working out or losz motivation, not at all! If anything, then it's the oppositte! :)... I keep on seeing progress and get good feedback from my coach.

Here's what he wrote the other day:

oh well the reason why we don't lift heavy is because lifting heavy weights and squatting will make us all bulky uzi, bullshit, no it doesn't, here's a a client of mine who is prime example of what wonders a good dose of heavy squatting and deadlifting can do for your body! she also just hit her first pullup today and there are big things in store for this girl! These are the results after one month of training, stay tuned and I'll post another picture couple of months down the line which is even going to make this look like nothing. Super proud of her! More booty, muscles and power to you!  — with Alex Mills.

I was really happy when I read this the day after! It helps me very much with motivation!

In other order of things I was talking with my BFF yesterday about how training and bodybuilding can have a great influence in your mind and not only in your body. I come from an eating disorder. Anorexia is a mental estate in which you basicall want to feel weak so tha people take care of you and love you.... Like when you are a child, it's like a way to remain in your childhood...you want to get attenttion and love and to your mind it seems that is the way to get it.... by being weak.... I used to feel that way....I f someone had told me five years ago that I would be so positive as I am now and wanting to get strong I wouldn't have believed it. 

We talked long about my former and my current minset and how the body affects the mind... Well, I've always had a tendency to depression but it's changing...and kinda for the complete oppositte! Oh my! Sometimes I'm so positive thet people make fun of me! LOL...happy I can be so amusing! :D :D :D... and ...you know...whatever makes me happy! It might sound superficial "being so happy" especially if you have like "brooding" people around seeming so deep...well...as far as I'm concerned...been there, done that...and turned the page! now I'm happy ... why? because I chose to be!