Update! About time!!!

Long time no update!!!!! and a lot to tell!!! i'm in a good place again. I'm a positive person and I tend to feel good so my being upset didn't last long  :)  Nevertheless I am still concerned about my appearance and I went to look better. I contacted Andy Morgan to ask about his fees and if he could coach me...he said he doesn't coach vegetarians anymore and told me to contact Joy Victoria (who, btw, is a role model for me), I did and the fees were a bit too expensive for me , so.... I contacted.... whom? exactly, good ol' PT :) :) :) I love that guy, srsly!!! and told him i'm determined to get shredded and I need help...I would prefer HIS help more than any other's cause: he knows me, I've learnt all I know about luifting from him and I just find him awesome...i told him I understand if he says no....there is a reason he "dumped" me on the first place (though that reason still is a mystery to me)...but he accepted :) yay!!!! sometimes you just have to want it and ask for it! what's the worst that can happen? that he says no...I already have the "no" if I don't ask! what's the best...oooohhhh...I'm really curious about that!!! As for now, we are meeting tomorrow and he'll check my form and my 1 MR in squats and deads.... I'm so excited...and terrified!!!!! and he'll gave me the eating guidelines. We were talking long on the phone las saturday (I love when we do that, tho I hate the phone) and I have a rough idea about what I'll be doing: mantainance calories + LOTS of cardio...the bad news are that he doesn't want me to do combat cause he says it is too taxing for my joints :( and cardio on the treadmill, stationary bike, stepmill etc...kinda sux to sux major dick! LOL... Not happy about that but we'll see if we find an agreement.... I'll keep posting ;)


I really WANT to keep on doing BODYCOMBAT but the masochistic part of me wants to do that exhausting cardio.... what for? No idea , since it burns less calories than bodycombat! I guess that somehow in my brain I have that idea that "the more you suffer, the greater the price"... well, not in this case:

55 minutes bodycombat = 400 calories + endorphines + great mood + fun + feeling awesome + happiness
14 minutes on the stationary bike= 90 calories + exhaustion+ frustration + boredom + feeling miserable/hating your life

I want BODYCOMBAT!!!

I feel disgusting

I feel disGUsTing..... I really need to lose fat, I hate my belly. I'll do it right cause I'm hating myself now for looking like shit.

Reality check and starting the cut

i've been pretty upset lately. Last tuesday a co-worker , just out of the blue and knowing that i'm training told me 2your tummy is sticking out" and 2are you sure you're not eating too much?" that was more than I could bear...It got me depressed all tuesday long, most of wednesday and I still get mad when I think about it...so it's time to put a solution...Now I don't care if I don't have muscle enough to go on a cut, i'm doing it anyway cause the worst thing i can hear is being called fat: call me ugly, stupid, bitch...whatever...but fat...that just hurts, hurts so much....I try to see the positive side, like, taking it as a wake-up call that I should really start cutting and losing fat....not because of caring of what that asshole says or thinks...but because i have come to realise that he's right...he's an ass, but he's right, he doesn't know how to treat people, he doesn'tz know politeness, he is not able to coexist with human beings...but he's right, I'm fat.... so I'm cutting....

Calculated macros for fat loss and I have to stick to it cause otherwise i will hate myself. I know I can do it, but i'm yet to prove it, not to him, to me! I keep on sabotaging me all the time, why? NO! not this time, this time I'm doing it right! Shame on me if I'm not! here's what I calculated...

I have to take extreme measures. It's ging to be the first time I follow it to the T...and I will! with LEANGAINS and IIFYM.