I've been thinking, analyzing, making lists and I think I decided to NOT stay in the clinic. I have "therapied" (is that even a word?) myself SUCCESSFULLY in the past. I got out from an eating disorder all by myself, out of self-harm also without help and i have had rough times.... I want to do therapy but the individual one... I think the clinic is not helping much. It has helped, it has helped me seeing what I don't want to be...fair enough, now that I know it, the moment i start being that "being" i'll stop, breath, and "play" the character I like...the other me.... am I nuts? maybe,so what?! whatever makes me happy! each of us have their own answers to survive...mine is this, kinda "splitting"... is that a bit disordered too? (as in dissociative) maybe but it helps me living the way I want, being whom I want to be. You know, Fake it til you make it, LOL! I'm fine. I know what I want so... I will just go for it, give it time and I'll have it. Period.
About gym stuff: I injured myself on friday and on saturday I chose to ignore it and work out anyway.... sunday my back was hurting like a bitch, so Sunday and monday I had to rest. I hope I can work out tomorrow, if possible, I will go everyday during the week, cause I'm freaking out already.
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