Update

some time since I didn't post.... well not that long but it seems to me as if it was cause a lot of things happenend!

I hired that power-lifter guy who was coaching me, cause I want to do things right. Form is very important and I wasn't doing it right, he has corrected me, especially my squat and showed me where my weaknesses are and what to do about them. I'm amazed cause from one session to the next I do see progress and that's great.

He has made a plan for me , which, needless to say, is much better than some plan I could find in the internet, cause he knows what my goals are, in which point I am now and which my strong and weak points are. I'll be training high volume, 4 times a week, many sets, many reps...the "big three" and accessories... and pull-ups.... I used to do pull-ups at the machine and I liked it, I liked challenging myself everytime trying harder but now, just assisted with the rubber bands...oh my dog! it's sooo difficult! ...So difficult that it makes me feel frustrated... also cause i'm suppossed to do 5 sets of ten reps...that's a lot!!! but he helps me too... which on one hand encourages me cause I am doing the exercise but on the other makes me feel a bit frustrated cause I still can't do it on my own.

Last session was last Sunday.... it was ok but I think I was not on top of my game... I'm hoping to deliver better results today... well, on the weekend I had my b-licence course...so...after sleeping about 5 hours from saturday to sunday,I got to do some muscle training  (like toning, not hard) for an hour and step (!) for another hour...so when I started the strength training at 6 p.m. I was already a bit tired.... so my results were mediocre...At some point my coach seemed a bit ...hm...can't find the word but he said "that's gonna take a lot of work!".... but well, i'm new and he knows it... still I hope I do better today!

Last time I did.

Squats: 5x5 ... 37,5 kg
bench:  5x5 ......27,5 kg

I tried the bench with a tiny bit more weigt, just increasing 2,5 kg...but I was losing the form all the time... :(  That frustrated me a little. My bench press sux big time...but...it will get better I hope!

Pull-ups: I don't remember exactly, maybe 5x5 (?) That was REALLY hard as I have posted before... but for now we're focusing on going down slowly (5 second negative) and not that much in going up...Oh my! i'm still so weak! ...but Rome wasn't build in one day, right? my muscles and strength obviously neither :D

Glute Bridges 5x10 with 3 second count on the top  67,5 kg. That was ok, I ended up exhausted but I think that's because it was the last exercise of the session.

My coach planned on roll-outs for afterwards but he noticed I was too exhausted... I hope I didn't disappoint him, he's taking so much effort in training me... Well, actually I got praised by him later on he said ( I quote) : "

and girlie, remember this

i am bloody proud of you

you have one of the best work ethics I have seen on a girl I have trained

you dont bitch, you dig deep and you get the job done

keep that up"

Aw! That made me feel soooo good!  :) 

I'm excited about today's training :)  I hope I can give more than last time... I should! I haven't done any cardio and slept 7,5 hours (!!!)

He also made a diet plan for me...i'm going to be bulking slowly basing on macros, it sounds scary...really scary for me that i have been activly trying to lose weight no matter what for the last years.... I mean... former anorexic now bulking... I'm making my peace with it but...not easy!!!.... He (my coach) says it's not the right moment for me to cut cause i don't have enough muscle mass...so...if I lose, i would just be skinny but not muscular, and I want muscles, I want to look like the competitors... and kiss goodbye my ED...it's not me at all... I'm not (and don't want to be) weak and like a child so that people take care of me... I used to want that, really, I cannot explain why...i guess i was lacking ...MANY things....love, self-confidence, ... I just wanted to be loved and taken care of... But now i do have more confidence (sports plays an important part in it), and I found the love in myself, I might not have one person or anything but it's inside of me and...well, I'm getting so cheesy here! LOL :P Stop! HAHA

Back to the diet: it's gonna be based on macros but also on eating "clean". my coach sent me a picture after he bulked and he didn't look bad at all! He put only on 1,5 kg while bulking due to eating clean...and he adviced me to do the same...I would like to post the picture but i won't cause I haven't asked him and I don't know he he would have something against it... maybe I'll ask...